The Big Vote – What should we do?

The Big Vote – What should we do?
14th June 2016 shortandsmiley

Disclaimer: Do not try this at home. Shortandsmiley is a trained idiot and accepts no liability for damage done to your glasses or bookmarks.

With all this US Presidential Election stuff & EU referendum thing going on, it’s only natural to have many questions rolling around your head.

Should I vote? Does my vote count? Do we the people know what’s best for us? Are you just using this political introduction as a thinly veiled segue into that Picture Book Award that you want me to vote for you in?

The answers to those questions are yes, yes, probably not, and yes, in that order.

What I’ve noticed about elections & votes is that they often brings out the worst in people. People that you should be able to look up to and trust, instead fling mud at each other in a petty race to accumulate the backing of the people. Rather than building each other up and respecting the opposition, candidates focus on presenting only one side of the story, and concocting half truths and lies in order to destroy the other side. As a result, it’s very hard for anyone to win on their own merits.

When it comes to voting for anyone – remember to stick to facts, rather than rhetoric.

Anyway, on a completely unrelated note; yes, I have been nominated for the Best Emerging Author Award by Junior Design Magazine and yes, it would be wonderful if you exercise your democratic right by supporting me on my quest to become a full time picture book author.

You can click here to vote for me, Andrew Sanders, the real life, heroic, baby-hedgehog-rescuing author who wrote the book, I Have an Orange Juicy Drink, (a children’s picture book for 3 to 5 year olds) which is widely being credited as the greatest work of art since Michelangelo put down his nunchucks and painted a ceiling somewhere in Northern Italy.

Or you can vote for someone else. There are of course alternative options to choose from, but it’s worth noting before you consider voting for any of the other individuals, the following facts – which are technically 100% accurate:

  • At no point have either of the three other candidates ever come out and said that they disapprove of hitting endangered woodland creatures with gigantic novelty inflatable bananas.
  • None of the other three candidates have (to our knowledge) ever rescued a kitten from a tree, strapped a bow to its head and then given it to a passing orphan along with a £50 note in its mouth.
  • Not one of the other three candidates has ever said that they would rescue the Queen if she was thrown down a well by a rabid, partially crazed Dale Winton as he screamed about being unfairly bumped from presenting the lottery & started throwing yoghurts at anybody who approached to try and rescue Her Royal Highness.

I’m not saying that’s a reason to not vote for them, but the facts speak volumes.

Vote Andrew Sanders.



Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *